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Thursday, October 21, 2010


I broke my rules today. I really try to take one day at a time, but I was trying to organize Ella's paperwork into binders and looking things over and I got, well cranky. I started thinking too much into the future. I read through all the drugs she has to be on during her more intense phase of chemo, and it put me in a bad mood.
It started off as a good day. Had a pedi- good. Had the afternoon to myself- good. Ordered a new vacuum- good. Ate ice cream- very good. Then after dinner I looked at her paperwork- bad. She is doing SO well right now. She is talking all the time. We read a 120 page chapter book this morning and she couldn't stop talking about it. She played with Grandma and Grandpa all afternoon and smiled! All Good! I am just frustrated because I know how bad it is going to get, and she has no clue. Maybe it is better that she doesn't know? That way she can really do one day at a time- and not get cranky like her mama.
Right now she is all snuggled up in her bed- under like a million blankets! Every blanket she gets she adds to her collection on her bed. Sometimes I sneak in at night and take a few off so she doesn't get to hot. Most nights she kicks them off herself.
Her hair loss has really slowed down- which is good. most of the loss is towards the back so she can't see it as much as we can. She still puts in her headbands and barrettes everyday to match her outfits.
Thanks for letting me vent.

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