Off topic, but on my mind today...
I think going to heaven will be like having the ability to take the biggest, deepest breath you have ever taken. I often feel like here on earth I can't take a deep breath. The things of this world seem to weigh me down. Too many things seem like they are pushing down on my lungs so that when they expand to take that big cleansing breath, the top of my lungs are being held and pushed down back into my body so that my lungs can't fully expand. I look forward to taking that first cleansing deep breath when I finally get to see my Father.
Ella had a follow up visit at clinic today, but it was a new clinic. Her doctors moved to a new hospital in January. I took Ella to the new hospital and she decided to stay with her doctors. it's a hard decision. Kids like routine- hell I like routine. I liked knowing where I was going and what I was doing. Recognizing others that I had met before and knowing just about how long everything would take. Starting over at a new hospital was NEVER in my plan, but it must be in Gods plan. Ella had to choose between new docs or new nurses. She chose new nurses.
So our first visit to the new hospital was yesterday. It is a dedicated children's hospital- not just a small part of a clinic, but an entire hospital for kids. It's nice that they are an entire facility set up for kids. Loyola had a small part of clinic or 1 floor in a hospital. We love our child life support at Loyola, but our favorite nurses were already gone, and we only saw the child life person once a year. I had to go through and re-register Ella as a new patient. I wasn't expecting me to hit me as hard as it did. Answering questions and thinking about things that I had not had to think about in two years brought back some emotions that hit me when I wasn't expecting it.
Josh came with us as emotional support for Ella. Plus he didn't mind having the day off of school. The weather was beautiful here. 65 and sunny. He came for Ella, but whether he knows it or not- he was there for me too. he saw my face and knew I was struggling. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. He held my hand when we were walking and when I yawned and tears ran down my cheek- he asked if I was REALLY okay. He is so in tune to my emotions- and that's a pretty big thing for an 11 year old boy. I reassured him that I was okay. Honestly he doesn't hold my hand very often so it was a nice treat!
We got to see both our doctors yesterday- which is a nice treat. We also got to spend time talking to them. It was interesting to see them in this different environment- in their new roles. They are learning the ropes- just like we are. I felt like seeing Ella yesterday was a deep breath for them. Some fresh air to take in. They love her and it is obvious. They hug and tell her that whenever they see her. I feel like seeing her well is a little sign that everything will be okay. Her counts were great and she is doing fine. She has some small things that we need to keep an eye on, but nothing we can't handle.
Ella has been doing well. She will be turning 9 next month. She started horseback riding in September and she loves it! Her trainer is 21 and really good with Ella. She lost her best friend to cancer a few years ago. Her best friend left her horse for her when she passed. She and Ella get along really well. It is incredible to me that she is not afraid of these giant horses at all. She gets right in their stall and pushes them around like she is the boss- and they usually listen to her. She had her first horse show last weekend. She got 2 4th place ribbons and a 5th. She didn't even care what place she got. She just wanted the ribbons because they were pretty. She had 2- 4th place ones that are white and she wanted to get 5th place so she could have a pink one! I love that. She said she wasn't afraid to be in the competition at all- I was terrified for her! She asked for a horseback riding party for her birthday this year.
Thanks for keeping up with us. Ella is growing fast and becoming a beautiful young lady.