Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day Seven-First Day Home or One week down, too many to go.
Today was overwhelming to me. I do not know if I would have been okay if my family wasn't here with me. I think today was one of those reality checks. Our new reality is Cancer, and I hate it.
I went to Walmart to get an accurate thermometer. We have 4 and I swear they all suck! It took me an hour to get the 6 items on my list. I felt like I was in a daze. It was like I had lead weights on my legs as I walked through the store. This guy sneezed into the air and I almost went ballistic on him. In my head I was thinking "that could have killed my child if she was here!" Okay, I guess I am still looking for the balance between crazy germ-aphobia mom, and my regular crazy self.
Ella only woke up once last night, and that was to crawl into bed with us. Before all of this happened Steve and I were working diligently to keep her in her bed at night, now I'm happy to have her pushing me off the side. This morning she asked for noodles for breakfast, we compromised and had pancakes. She was tired today, but she did well. She took a good 2 hour nap and was still in bed by 8.30pm. She had a jammie day today and asked if she could have one again tomorrow- that's okay with us!
Here is a shot from when we left the hospital yesterday- in her purple dress! She looks so strong in this shot!
When I tuck her in at night, I always say "I love you all around the world, and back again!" She usually says "You always say that!" Tonight she said "I love you to Texas and back again, Texas is bigger right momma?"
Josh has been home one day now. He seems different. Today I mourned the fact that his reality is Cancer too. We went to meet his new teacher today. During the conference he raised his hand and said "My sister is really sick". I totally lost it. I tried not to let him see, but he is a smart kid. I am taking him out in the morning to spend some alone time with him. I am hoping it will help him feel like things are a little normal.
I would like to continue a special project that some of our friends and family started. If you are praying for Ella, can you please send us an 8.5 x 11 sheet with your picture(s) on it? We are going to bind them into a book so she can take it with to the hospital when she has to go and we can show her everyone that loves her and is praying for her. If you want to email it to me-that works, and I can print it out. Feel free to be creative. This is something she will have forever. Thanks!