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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day Five-Chemo is working

Ella is nauseous and threw up last night. They put her on an IV to keep her hydrated, and she slept so hard we had to change her PJ's 3 times because they were wet. I guess the chemo is working.

I went to pick up the start of the prescription she will have to have daily for the next two years. The pharmacist asked me if she has any major medical conditions. I replied "Besides the Cancer?" I guess I was assuming he should know by the stack of scripts I laid down next to him.

Steve is with her as she sleeps at the hospital. She is an expert all the games marked for 4 yr olds in the kids room. She is wearing a purple tutu today and an IV. We have names the IV pole since it has to go everywhere with us. We have aslo assigned a stuffed animal to sit on top of it.

I am sure all mothers do this, or would do this if they were in my shoes, but when they told us it might be Leukemia- I prayed. I asked God to please let me switch places with her. Please let me be the one that has to go through cancer and chemo treatments- not my baby girl. Let me be the one to vomit and lose my hair- not my baby girl. Let me be the one to lose the next 2 years because I'm too sick to go to school or play with my friends- not my baby girl. My 4 year old baby girl.
How do you tell your 4 year old, that loves to wear nail polish and put piggies in her hair- that she is going to lose her hair? It's not fair. I hate it and it's not fair. Cancer Sucks. First it took over one of my best friends lives- now my babies. Today- I'm pissed. Why can't life be fair?

As soon as she is better we are taking her back to her favorite place- Myrtle Beach. Hell, everyone can come.


  1. You are both amazing parents and she is so lucky to have you. We are so happy the chemo is working! Thank you so much for keeping us up to date with this blog. Do not hesitate to let us know what any of you need.

  2. We wish you and Ella all the best. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I know I'd be an absolute wreck. If there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to let us know.

    All our Love,
    The Breitzmans

  3. We are thinking of all of you constantly. And, Katie, you are right about this not being fair. It's not fair at all. What is the bright spot in all this right now? A fact that you might overlook because as parents we give ourselves such little credit, but the fact is that Ella has two of the best people I know caring for and anticipating her every need. You and Steve are wonderful parents and Josh is a sweet and loving boy. That right there is going to be some of the best medicine she'll get. Our hearts are with you and we're available to you any day, Mon-Fri, day or night.
    All our Love,
    The Ordes

  4. There are simply no words for the ache in our hearts for you all. Children should not get sick, parents should not have to sit by their beds in the still of the night asking the questions that I am sure have gone through your heads. My eyes well up with tears as I read your posts, my stomach is in knots, my heart wants to explode. Know that your prayers for Ella are echoed a thousand times over by a church family here that loves all of you deeply. Heard by a God who loves you more that you know. And though we won't insult your pain by saying, "We know how you feel," because we cannot, we want to walk with you, we will walk with you, all through this journey. Praying for Ella and your entire family. Greg and Connie Bowman.

  5. Reading this on my lunch break... and crying with you. Feeling helpless, sometimes all we can do is lift you up in prayer, listen to you and cry with you...

  6. Hi.. my name is Donna and I am part of the compassion team at WR and I have gotten updates through Jenni. I have read your blog and though you don't know me, reading your words hits hard. I have 2 daughters, one of which has had her share of health issues over the years but nothing we have not been able to endure. Ella is blessed to have her parents, family and extended family here to love her, pray for her and hold hope that all you are doing will be what she needs to make her good as new. My thoughts and heartfelt prayers are with you. xo

  7. I was made aware of Ella's condition by her Gramma, Bonnie Metz and I haven't been able to stop thinking about all of you and praying since I found out. I too am a grandmother and it breaks my heart to think of you all having to go through this. I have passed the prayer need on to others that I know will diligently pray with us. Chances are we'll never meet, but that doesn't mean our hearts can't be united in the goal for Ella's complete healing. Ella is a beautiful child and you, as her loving parents, are awesome. Please know that you are not alone in this battle.

    XO Pat Reinheimer

  8. Katie:
    Yes, you can pray to God and ask that it should be us "mothers" going through that instead! It is so painful when you know one of your kids is going through something hard, and no, it is not fair. I don't know how you feel, but I do know that it is painful! I'm with you all the way. I can't stop thinking about you and your family! You guys are the best parents Ella & Josh can have. God bless you and give you strength!
    I'm happy to hear she's coming home. You will all feel better and comfortable. Please let me know if you need anything!
    You're in my heart! Love you! Jimena and family

  9. hey u guys this is fluff fluff... it doessuck but u guys are great people...and ur going to get thru this and god has apurpose for this happening and i trust in him and i know u guys do tooo... everything will be ok... I love you guys and cant wait to go to myrtyle beach! haha lol
    love always

  10. Oh and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!! LOVE U ALL!