|The first time I brought Ella home from the hospital.|
We got great news today- there are no more visible blast cells in Ella's blood. This is a good sign that she will be a "Rapid Responder" to chemo which means=REMISSION! I am afraid to be too happy about this, but hey- for today it will do!
We brought her home around 4.30 today. We pulled up to the house which was adorned with balloons and signs from our wonderful friends and the kids I work with at church. I still feel this overwhelming sense of love. And at times, I honestly FEEL like people are praying for Ella. This picture was taken by Steve, the day that Ella was born.
We have all her medications lined up and spent part of the night just trying to translate them from generic names, to the names the Dr. told us, to when they need t be given. My 4 year old would rather eat carrots all night then be forced to take a mint flavored medicine, but she is getting there- we are getting there.
I don't cry all the time anymore. It seems to be the little things that set it off. I moved a piece of her hair out of her face when she came out of surgery, and I had to stop myself from heaving with tears over the loss of her hair. I went into her room and cried as I had to move her toys to make room for medical supplies. I tried to keep it hidden in a drawer so she doesn't have to see it. I still want her room to be that joyful place I planned for her while she was still in my belly. I held back tears when I tried to tell my friend she will be okay. I don't know who I am trying to convince more- them or me.
For today, I am grateful that she is snuggled in Her bed, with her blankies, and softly breathing in and out as I watch her sleep. I thank God that I can still watch her do this.