|Ella and Kennedy
It was interesting being at clinic and looking at things from a different prospective. I've been there a hundred times, but it was always my child having a procedure or blood draw. This time I had more of an opportunity to look around and listen.
About three months ago Ella and I met a little girl in clinic. Lets call her "Sophie". She was about three years old and the most inquisitive child. She walked right into our room and started watching everything that Ella was doing. This is very unusual behavior in clinic. Most people stay in their little clinic room out of fear of spreading germs to another child, but this little one opened our door and walked right in with a big smile. Her mom spoke to her in a different language, but you could tell Sophie had no intention of leaving her new friends room. I assumed this little girl was a sibling of a child in treatment. She playfully peaked in and out of our room full of smiles and giggles until it was Ella's turn to be seen by the doctor. Then she went off to find another room to peek into. I had not given a second thought to this playful child until I saw her at clinic on Wednesday. I took me all day to recognize who she was. It woke me up last night in tears. Same smile, same height, but 3/4th of her hair was missing. It was not a sibling in treatment, it was Sophie. It had never even crossed my mind that she was the child with cancer because she was so happy. Giggling in our room, watching Ella and just smiling. How could I not have seen that she was in treatment? I truly believe it was her innocence and joy that kept me from seeing it. Children has this incredibly envious ability to live in the moment. As adults we spend so much time stressing out about our futures and our families future. When I met her, she wasn't a cancer child, she was just a happy child, living in the moment, looking for a new friend. I have to say I envy her. Even in clinic this week, she was smiling and standing at the Art Cart and trying to find a game or craft that would pass the time. I didn't see cancer in her face. If her hair had not been missing- I would not have known at all. I wish I had that ability. I have to work on that.
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