Ella's Done

I don't know what the future holds for us at this point, but I guess nobody does.  I wish on Ella's last day of chemo I was able to go "Wow, we are done!", but truth be told I did not.  All I could do was wonder what the chances are that she will have to go through this again.  I think with something that you spend years going through, you have to spend at least that much time to feel free of it. I know this is hard to understand.  I have mentioned it to a few people and they could only say 'But your done!". But, really we are not "Done". There are scars left on this family that will never go away.  Scars on Ella's body that will fade, but never fully disappear. Friendships lost, that will never fully return.  Experiences that were missed out on and replaced with ones that nobody wants their 4 year old to go through. This is not limited to cancer, but anyone with a disease that threatens their life, or their child's life.

I know that God willing, Ella will not remember most of this journey, but it is forever ingrained in my memory and her fathers.  I pray that she will never have to go through any of this again.  I pray that there will be more research into Childhood Cancer because I do not want to meet another parent that has just learned their child has an uncertain future. I pray that all these memories will fade and be replaced by new and better ones. The one phrase that still sticks in my mind after these 2+ years is one nurse Gail said to me the first day I met her.  "No dreams should be lost for this child.". They were never lost, but they have been replaced by different ones. Ones of health and happiness.  For a childhood filled with laughter and no more needles. For her memories of this journey to only be of the wonderful people she met and how strong she really is.

I have one final video of Ella journey.  This one goes to what I hope, is the end of her cancer battle.  It was so hard to pick images for only 3 minutes, and I chose the ones that might not be the ones I like the best, but that tell her story.  As always, feel free to share this video.  Anything that helps to raise awareness is appreciated.

For those that have followed us on this journey, we Thank You.  Thank you for just being there for us and listening an praying.
Blessings~Katie, Steve, Josh & Ella.

Ella's Journey