|Ella and Rachael swimming.|
Today she was happy. It was take a friend to gymnastics day. They were walking in and holding hands and she was singing. Being a few steps ahead of me I had them wait for me at the door. Ella stopped and looked at her reflection in the window. I saw her physically deflate. She stopped singing and let go of her friends hand. She smoothed down the few pieces of thin hair that now seem to puff out- almost like they are looking for other hairs to cling to, and she just looked at me. This is what I can't take. I can't fix it, I can't make her not "deflate". Within 10 minutes she was fine, but it is burned into my memory that cancer sucked joy out of her today.
I know there are lots of poems that quote the things that cancer can't do. But, it is really good at making momma's feel helpless.
She is beautiful. Always.ReplyDelete
Holding her mama's hand today.
Thanks Dr.M. :-)Delete