|Ella and Dr. Manera|
Today was her breakthrough day. Today, she smiled at her doctor, she didn't struggle when they accessed her port, she talked to everyone. She actually seemed a little relaxed. This time we didn't get juggled back and forth between rooms, and I think that helped. We could actually begin an activity and finish it to keep her distracted. She even sat on the procedure table and laid back by herself. She was a shining example of strength today. She even realized it was taking a while and asked "When am I getting the red dot on my finger?" There is an oxygen sensor that goes on her finger during the spinal, and she knew it was coming. She didn't even squeak when they took out her port access. Total Rock Star today.
She had 3 chemos today. One in her spine, and 2 by IV. They upped her dosage, which we didn't think they were going to do since she bottomed out last time they did that, but they really want to push their little bodies to the limit. The Doctor said the closer to the protocol they stick- the higher success rate she has. I know this, but I don't have to like it. During her spinal today, I lost it. It is still overwhelming to me to see her like that on the table and wonder if she really will be okay. She had a little bit of a reaction to one of the drugs and it just made her face red and blotchy. Also her eyes became all red, and to me- it looked like they were teary. The red didn't bother me- it was the tears that grabbed my heart and pulled it down to my feet. To think that she is in any pain- physical or emotional just brings me to my knees. Again, I am sure she didn't feel anything, but I don't have to like it.
|Ella, her sticker jewelry, and me.|
There is a toy chest in the Clinic that the kids get to pick out a toy from when they come in to take home. I was talking to the nurse today and she was telling me that most of the charities that were donating have stopped. To her knowledge, there is only one left. At first I hated the idea of giving Ella something material every time she goes in, but knowing what pain and stress their little bodies go through while they are at clinic- if looking forward to a gift makes it bearable- then gift it is. So, I know everyone is overwhelmed this season with requests to give, but maybe your kids will get 2 of something- or a toy without a gift receipt. If you do, let me know and I will take it in to add to the toy chest. After Christmas if fine, these kids have a long journey.
So, this week we pray that her numbers don't tank with the added chemo and that her body will continue to be able to handle this.