Ella is doing great. We are just hanging out at home and patiently waiting for her counts to be better so she can have treatment on Friday. If her counts are not good, they will just give her 1 of the chemos instead of 2. yesterday Ella and I made 4 loaves of bread. She loves when it is time to pound them down. She kneaded her own loaf and loved playing in the flour. I think everyone is getting fresh bread this year for Christmas!
I lost it yesterday. Some carpet salesperson called and tried telling me a "friend" referred me for 2 free rooms to be cleaned. She would not let me get a word in, you know how good they are at that. After saying in my polite voice "no thank you, I'm not interested" I finally yelled "excuse me, Excuse me, EXCUSE ME- My child has cancer so NO you can't come over!" Then I hung up the phone and let it all out. Jen took me out for a drink and the most mindless (and gross) movie ever- Jackass. Just what I needed, thanks Jen.
Strength is a funny thing. When there is a crisis, I am strong without thinking about it. You just go through the motions because you know what needs to be done. When I reflect on the major times in my adult life when I needed to be strong, that seems to be the case. It is not until the event is over, and I am by myself that the scope of the situation seems to creep in and take over my emotions.Yesterday was one of those days for me.
Otherwise you can bet there is no way anyone would have been able to take me to see Jackass!