Ella's Birthday

Ella 7 years old

To say birthdays are important in our home would be an understatement.  We have learned through this journey to be grateful for every second that has been gifted to us, and this week Ella turned 7!

This is not to say that my kids don't get in trouble and no one raises their voices in this house, but it is to say that when I hear my children laughing and playing together like only siblings can, I stop and thank God for that moment and pray that is can last forever.

This year we went simple and had a few of Ella's girlfriends overnight.  They were all very well behaved and had a blast.  She has such an awesome group of girls that she just loves.  I am so very thankful that she has these bonds.  Even at school, when I dropped her off with her special birthday snack, she got teary eyed when I had to leave.  Immediately 4 little girls came over, put their arms around her and comforted her. So very amazing.  I do not remember having girlfriends like that in 1st grade.

So, Happy 7th Birthday to my amazing, strong, beautiful, encouraging and HEALTHY Ella.  We love you so much.

Josh took this one of us.

Ella's counts have been good and she has been healthy- best gift ever.

Blessings~Katie

Clinic Visit for April

Ella was in a really great mood on Tuesday.  She was being goofy for everyone- even the Doctor she had never met that did her initial vitals.  We were in and out and it was an easy day at clinic.  Her counts are looking better each time we go and she is moving in the right direction!

Aunt Carrie joined us for clinic, and right after we celebrated her 3 YEARS of Carrie being done with chemo!!!!  I took our little Cancer Butt Kickers to The Cheesecake Factory for some lunch and we went to Build A Bear to get what is hopefully Ella's last bear for a while.  She has around 50, and I seriously am out of room to put these!

In the past 2 weeks, our hospital alone has lost 3 kids to cancer.  I can not even begin to tell you how much this saddens my heart. The grief that the parents, family, doctors, nurses, and everyone involved must be feeling just brings me to tears.  The fact that Cancer has beaten not 1, but 3 more children just angers me.  I feel like there is so much attention to adult cancers, but no one wants to hear about Childhood Cancers- it's just too painful.  And that is true- It IS painful!  So, help us kick it's butt!  think about supporting Cure Search which helps to raise funds to cure and support children with cancer.

Thanks.

Blessings~Katie

Child Life

Hi All!
Ella is doing well.  I just wanted to share an article that was published by Cure Search this week featuring Megan- Ella's Child Life Specialist.  You may remember that Megan made sure Ella had a Christmas Tree in her hospital room when she was admitted on Christmas Eve, and when I could not go past the magic line when Ella had surgery, Megan jumped into the gurney and rode with her.

Ella and Megan

Cure Search is dedicated only to funding Childhood Cancers.  It is a great organization and Steve and I have been their photographers the past two years.  This year I am on the committee for the 2013 walk.  It is in September and it is very family friendly.  When our team registration is ready I will put up the link, but in the meantime, please think about walking with us or donating this year!

Thanks so much.

Blessings~Katie

Today Ella had clinic.  It was just a monthly visit where they check her counts, feel around, take her vitals and declare she is doing well and getting one month closer to "normal".  Today when we went in, Ella had a slight fever- 99.1.  The nurse asked if I took her temp before I left the house.  This rush of panic went through me.  I felt scared.  Like I had been missing something this past month.  Should I have been taking her temperature as often as I was when she was on chemo? What else did I miss? She has been complaining of back pain again, is the cancer back?  Crap.

Okay, I took a deep breath and we went into the exam room to wait for the doctor to examine Ella.  She did fine and the Dr. asked  how we were doing made some small talk, then asked if Steve and I had planned our trip to Italy yet.  I said no, she asked why.  Ella was still on the table so I was able to turn but I started crying.  I don't even know where the tears came from, they just started pooling in my eyes. I told her I just couldn't leave because I am still worried that something will happen to Ella if I leave the country.  Ahhhg.  How can I still feel this scared?  She has been off of treatment for almost 5 months, yet as her doctor was feeling the lymphoid on her neck, all I could think is that they were enlarged and she was going to turn and look at me with a concerned face and tell me she needs to run more tests.  But, she didn't.  She just kept making chit chat and taking to Ella about how much she has grown.

Seriously, when will this feeling go away?  When I stop looking at her wondering if every little ailment means something more serious is wrong. I hate feeling this way. I wish it would stop.

Ella is bummed, her ears closed up after two days without earnings.  So she will have to have them re-pierced in a few weeks.  Her cast is off and in another week she will be able to return to gymnastics class.

Ella's in here somewhere!

Last week we got lucky and had a snow storm which meant.....SNOW DAY!!!!! Friends came over and we went sledding at the side of the house and built an igloo.  Everyone had fun, it was awesome to hear the kids laughing. Afterwards we gathered in the garage for hot coco and mustache shaped cookies.  These are the days and the times I treasure.  It was a gift.  An extra day where I could listen to Josh and Ella playing together in the basement- just laughing and hanging out in their PJ's all day until I made them get dressed to go sledding.

Enjoy every unexpected minute you get with your loved ones.

Blessings~Katie

Valentine's Day!

Just a picture of my adorable little Valentine!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Blessings~Katie

Charles Tillman/Ella Article

Charles Tillman's TendHER Heat Luncheon is a yearly event hosted for mothers and caregivers of seriously ill children.  I was honored to speak in 2011 and 2012.  They recently asked me to be interviewed regarding my experience at the luncheon.
Thought you might all enjoy the article.

TendHER Heart-Tillman Foundation

Ella has her monthly clinic check-up tomorrow.  Now, she just likes that she gets to miss a day of school! Two weeks and two days left in her cast.  She is handling it like a pro now, except I did get whacked in the head with it while trying to snuggle with her one night.  Man those things hurt!  She could not stop laughing.  I am really looking forward to the kids being off for Spring Break. I miss them when they are at school.  We had a decent snow fall last week and I already had a snow day planned out in case they were able to stay home, but no snow day for us.  So we moved my big plans to Saturday. we pushed all the couches in the family room together in the family room.  Brought down a few goose-down comforters and pillows from our beds and cuddled in for a movie.  We also made Belgium Waffles with whipped cream for breakfast and built a volcano that we had planned to erupt on Sunday, but the weather turned to icy rain and changed our plans.  Counting down till their next day off in March!

Thanks so much!  Please Join us so you can keep in touch with us through the rest of Ella's journey!

Blessings~Katie

Clinic with a friend

Ella and Kennedy

Ella went to clinic on Wednesday, but this time it was not for her counts, but she went to support her friend Kennedy!  I love this shot of the two of them.  Thanks to cancer, they both have the same haircut, and they look like twins with their short curly hair. They had a fun morning together playing on Kennedy's tablet and when we were done at clinic Kennedy picked PF Changs for lunch.

It was interesting being at clinic and looking at things from a different prospective.  I've been there a hundred times, but it was always my child having a procedure or blood draw.  This time I had more of an opportunity to look around and listen.

About three months ago Ella and I met a little girl in clinic.  Lets call her "Sophie".  She was about three years old and the most inquisitive child. She walked right into our room and started watching everything that Ella was doing.  This is very unusual behavior in clinic.  Most people stay in their little clinic room out of fear of spreading germs to another child, but this little one opened our door and walked right in with a big smile.  Her mom spoke to her in a different language, but you could tell Sophie had no intention of leaving her new friends room.  I assumed this little girl was a sibling of a child in treatment. She playfully peaked in and out of our room full of smiles and giggles until it was Ella's turn to be seen by the doctor. Then she went off to find another room to peek into.  I had not given a second thought to this playful child until I saw her at clinic on Wednesday.  I took me all day to recognize who she was.  It woke me up last night in tears.  Same smile, same height, but 3/4th of her hair was missing.  It was not a sibling in treatment, it was Sophie.  It had never even crossed my mind that she was the child with cancer because she was so happy.  Giggling in our room, watching Ella and just smiling.  How could I not have seen that she was in treatment? I truly believe it was her innocence and joy that kept me from seeing it.  Children has this incredibly envious ability to live in the moment.  As adults we spend so much time stressing out about our futures and our families future.  When I met her, she wasn't a cancer child, she was just a happy child, living in the moment, looking for a new friend. I have to say I envy her. Even in clinic this week, she was smiling and standing at the Art Cart and trying to find a game or craft that would pass the time.  I didn't see cancer in her face.  If her hair had not been missing- I would not have known at all.  I wish I had that ability. I have to work on that.

If you enjoy keeping up with us, would you please take a moment and sign up to follow our blog!  We would really appreciate it!

Blessings~Katie