Day 136

Ella was really tired today. She napped and asked to go to bed at 8 tonight. Her eyes were so sunken in today and she was really pale. My girl was beat up.

Blessings~Katie

Day 135-Clinic

Momma and Ella sitting in the chemo chair

Ella had clinic today. Her counts remain spectacular, and she had 2 chemo's today. Then she was off to Build-A-Bear for a bear and a new outfit. What am I going to do with all these stuffed animals? Anyone with a good idea on how to organize them- please let me know!

Grandma and Ella and her orange chemo

She is sound asleep now. Her little body was so tired tonight, but she just didn't want to close her eyes. I am grateful that her body is holding up so well, but I am grateful with my breath held in tightly. Still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to get really sick, or have a bad reaction. I feel like we are always on guard and fearful that something will make her sick. It is with tears in my eyes that I watch her sleep and breath and think about how strong/beautiful she is inside and out.

Forgiveness

What is it that makes others ask for forgiveness? What happens in our lives that makes us see the way did something or someone wrong in our past. Do we get hit with some lightning bolt of intelligence? Or do we just grow up? Since this has happened to Ella 3 people from my past have asked for forgiveness for things that happened years ago. I just find it interesting how this has come about. What about her pain, makes them remember pain that they have caused? The thing is, that it isn't really me they need to ask for forgiveness from, they need to forgive themselves. I understand that it is hard to forgive ourselves, sometimes we need to hear it from others so that we can get permission to forgive ourselves. If someone us will forgive us, then certainly we can forgive ourselves....right?

Forgiveness is a choice. It's not an easy one. For me it is hardest when the person I am trying to forgive isn't asking for forgiveness.  When they feel they have done nothing wrong, or that their actions/words were somehow justified. Still, I pray, and ask God to help me forgive and try to be accountable for my own shortcomings (of which there are many). We have to choose to forgive others the same way God chose to forgive us. Sometimes its just a lot harder than others! I am definately a work in progress.

Blessings~Katie

Day 134

Just an ordinary day filled with laughter. God is good.

Clinic tomorrow.

Blessings~Katie

Day 132 & 133 Happy Feet

Happy Feet

Happy feet. These are Ella's Happy Feet that are playing on the floor with Grandma. Grandma and Grandpa came in tonight and Ella and Josh were bouncing off the walls with excitement.  At the top of her feet is the new winter coat we bought her to fit around her swollen belly. As soon as it arrived today she put it on and it has now been on for 7 hours. Ella, is having a good day.

New Belt

Josh got a new karate belt today and he was so happy. When we were in the car driving back he said out of the blue "Mom, I'm gonna work really hard to get my solid belt!". He really enjoys karate.

Ella is doing so well.  She is kicking cancers butt!

Please pray for Leann who is in the hospital on a respirator fighting a fungal infection that has spread to her brain(complication of leukemia). Her family needs our prayers. Thank you.

Have a great weekend.

Blessings~Katie

Day 130 and 131

Josh and Ella

Ella is a ROCK STAR, and not just because she likes to "shake it!".  We were able to take her off of the anti-nausea meds and she has been fine. She had a bit of a tempreture of, 100 today, but it went down to normal tonight. She is still having a difficult time sleeping, and she has been craving hot dogs again. We had to make an emergancy run to the store for hot dogs and "Cheesie Bunny Crackers". We had to get 2 boxes of cracker to make sure we didn't run out. It's funny because she is so demanding about it. Her moods are also swinging far and wide, but mostly she has been happy. Tonight she was happy just to snuggle in a chair with her brother and watch him play games, and explain them play by play to her.

Thank you all for continuing to pray for Ella and follow her journey.

Blessings~Katie

Day 129

Ella, loves to wear her sparkly dresses

Ella and Morgan

Ella did really well today. She colored and played today and after school she got to play with Morgan. She was so excited to see Morgan's new haircut! She wanted a picture of the two of them with short hair.
She ate a lot today- 5 meals. She kept asking me "when is the next eating time today Mommy?" She has started sweating in her sleep from the steroids and wakes up a few times a night. But really, she is doing well.

Blessings~Katie

Day 126, 127, and 128- Happy 2011

Ella at clinic

Happy 2011.

Ella had a very fun New Years Eve. She got to spend the night with her Auntie, Josh got to go to a kids party with neighborhood kids and mom and dad got to party with neighborhood adults! We also got to have Jesania with us for the weekend. Ella just loves her Fluffy!

So far Ella has not had a reaction to the Peg shots or the new chemo....Yea! She was pretty tired this week, but she isn't able to sleep well. Daddy took Ella to clinic today for her treatment and she doesn't need to go back until next Monday. Her counts were actually pretty good today which surprised me, but I am grateful.
Ella is looking forward to seeing her grandparents again this weekend! They are flying back to see her and go to treatment with her. I know everyone is looking forward to their visit. Her next treatment is next Monday.

Ella started losing her hair again today. I know she has been lucky to keep it as long as she has, and I am grateful, but it just is a reminder that we are stuck in "Cancer Land " for 2 more years. I was grateful that Steve was able to take her today so I had a day to do Non-cancer related things. One of the kids whose journey I have been following passed this weekend. A few more were hospitalized for fevers. When I read this, it does 2 things. 1- realize how lucky we are that Ella has only had 1 infection she had to be hospitalized for. 2- I realize what devastation this disease can do to families. I just wonder how we do two more years of this. Ahrg.

Blessings~Katie