Kennedy!!!

Hello!!  If you followed our story, then you might remember this little cutie.

 YEA to Edan Joy Gelt, Gene Khalimsky, Maddox Khalimsky, Kennedy Khalimsky  and a Huge Shout Out to Kennedy Khalimsky!  She and Ella went through treatment at Loyola together and now, Kennedy has reached her 5 year cancer free mark!!!!!

Read her story below and join us in saying congratulations to Kennedy!!!

Ella and Kennedy at Loyola

Kennedy's Journey

Blessings~ Katie

Guest Blogger For West Ridge Community Church

I had the opportunity to be the guest blogger at West Ridge last week. Sharing the article below. Thanks!

http://westridgechurch.com/blog/a-giving-heart/

A Giving Heart

  Posted on December 6, 2016  by West Ridge 

In my late 20’s I was in Industrial Sales.  I was out driving through Chicago with another salesperson, Michael, and on the side of the road there was a man asking for money.  Michael immediately rolled down his window, in a not so great part of Chicago, and handed the guy $5 and said “God Bless you”.

Now, the cynical part of me immediately had questions.  “Why would you roll your window down in this neighborhood?” And, “How do you know he won’t use that money for drugs or alcohol?”

What Michael said to me changed the way I have thought about giving from that moment on.  He said, “It is not my place to question why they need the money.  It is only my job to give it when I am called to.”

I believe that the devil wants us to question, doubt and think a way out of giving to others.  But, if we are listening and God tells me to give, I do my best to block everything else out and just give.  It is not up to me how they use the money, but it is up to me to listen to God when he is talking to me.  And guess what?  He talks all year, not just at Christmas.

2 Corinthians states in 9:7 that, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

So, decide in your heart that you will not question, but that when you are called, or nudged, that you will just cheerfully give and let God do the rest. You will find greater joy in giving freely then questioning what you have been called to do.

Blessings~ Katie Van Gheem

http://westridgechurch.com/blog/why-does-bad-stuff-happen-to-good-people/

Hello.  I was guest blogger this week at West Ridge Community Church.  I am sharing the link above, and the post here.  Also thought I would share this cute picture of Josh and Ella :-)

Blessings~Katie

Why Does Bad Stuff Happen to Good People?

  Posted on November 15, 2016  by West Ridge  

I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked this question, and have even asked it myself.  My daughter, my perfect four year old daughter who’s only sin was probably taking one of her brothers toys, was diagnosed with cancer when she was four years old. Four years old.  At that point can we even determine if she was a “good” person yet? She was just a child- my child.

I found myself being asked by both my Christian and non-Christian friends more than once- If there is a God, how could He let this bad thing happen?  How can you believe that God exists if he can allow your child to go through such pain? It was hard to answer because I felt like what they were asking me ran deeper than “Why did your kid get cancer?”.  They were asking if I still believed in a God that would let this terrible thing happen to my child.

My first answers were definitely more in the “I don’t know” category, because really- I didn’t know how to answer that question. I have read plenty of scripture and books on why bad things happen during my Christian life, but now this was a bad thing happening right in my family. As time passed, I knew that the family it was happening too wasn’t just my immediate family, but my entire church family too. I do not believe God “let” my child get cancer.  But, what I do believe is that He surrounded us with a huge church family that, prayed for us, brought us meals, and surrounded us with love.  I believe that God put the right people and doctors in our path to keep our child healthy, safe and alive.  I believe that God prepared us for this difficult time before it ever happened.  I believe that God surrounded us with love and carried us when we could not move anymore.  I believe God showed us the joy in the situation instead of allowing our judgment to be clouded with doubt, fear and despair.

I believe that God gave us the strength to keep moving forward in His love, and not be held back by this bad thing.  Will I ever really understand why Ella had cancer? No.  Is it the last “bad” thing that will happen in our lives? No.  Was it the first? No. Was God there for us? Yes.  Did he surround us with love? Yes. Did he carry us through when we were not able to do it on our own? Definitely.  God didn’t let my child get cancer.  He kept her alive in spite of cancer.  In spite of the evil one calling our names. His love turned this bad thing into proof that He loves us and will carry us forward during the good stuff and the bad stuff.
~ Katie Van Gheem

Guest Blogger

Hi!
I had the opportunity to be a guest Blogger again.  If you interested in reading, you can follow here:
West Ridge Community Church

Blessings~ Katie

Death and Life

My step-dad died today.  He was 60 years old and died from smoking and drinking.  He was an alcoholic.  He drank heavily my entire life, but he was a happy drunk, so no one really thought of him as having a "drinking problem".  He also started smoking when he was 16 and even when he had a tracheotomy, he kept smoking.

He has systematically pushed away every family member for the past 20 years.  His only friends were people he knew from the bar he hung out at. He lived pay check to paycheck in a small dingy apartment.  He had no pets.  He even asked for his kids not to be called when he was at the end.  The one friend that was left asked someone to reach out to me. I went to the ICU last night to find him completely sedated and on a ventilator.  He was "extremely agitated" according to the nurses so they had to bid his wrists and sedate him in an attempt to let his body rest and heal.

When I looked at him, there was no love left, only pity.  I felt sorry for him.  Can you imagine what it would be like to be at the end of your life and have no one. This was completely his choice. He chose smoking and drinking over everyone else in his life.  He chose not to be in contact with his kids.  His marriages failed. His life was, from my view, so empty.

Don't let this happen.  I want to scream this at everyone  Do not end up like this man.  Show the people around you that you care for them and love them.  Use your actions to show people they are important.  Do not choose the things of this world over the gifts God has generously given to you.  Don't be a fool like this man was and toss aside people who want to care about you.  Don't end up on your death bed alone.

~Katie

6 years ago today....

I don't know why this year, it has bothered me more than others, but it has.

Six years ago today, I was at Costco when my phone rang and I didn't pick it up. I saw that it was Ella's doctor.  We were not expecting results for 3 days.  I knew it wasn't good and I didn't want to get this call while I was standing in the middle of a big box store. I got out of the store, and minutes later Steve was telling me what I already knew- Ella had cancer.

I know all the things to be grateful for. I'm staring at her right now and she is just smiling. But, some days are just harder than others, and today is one of those days. Steve came home to a torn apart and half painted office tonight.  That was my therapy today, and my way to not think about the pain my daughter went through, our family went through.

Tonight, I just pray for the others and their families going through this right now. Cancer sucks.

Blessings~Katie

Self Control with a side of Oreo

I had the opportunity to be a guest blogger this week. Take a peek if you have the chance!



Blessings~Katie



Self Control with a side of Oreo

Independence Day-Mental Camera

I love photography.  I love taking pictures that mean something when you look at them.  They tell a story or inspire a feeling.  Some things I just can't get a picture of that expresses how I feel.  These are the times I wish my Mental Camera was as good as my Cannon 5D.

Last night, I sat with friends and family to watched the fireworks.  Okay- I did not watch much of the fireworks.  I was taking the time to sneak peak at each of my friends and my family.  I admired how my husband was called over to "snuggle" with Ella and Avery on the blankies.  Josh was wrapped up mummy style in a blanket on a chair next to me.  Friends sitting by their spouses, admiring the show. Kids, way bigger than they were a few short years ago, now sitting in their own chairs, too old for the blankets, and watching the beautiful display. My mental camera was taking a million shots. Admiring how we have all grown and changed over the years and how we have supported each other. Remembering how they held my hand at church the weekend after I found out Ella had cancer, supported each other through deaths, births, loss of jobs, gain of jobs and laughter.  Lots of laughter.

Best I could do !

My mental camera is cool, because there are emotional attached to those images. Most people would look at this image and think of a bunch of people watching fireworks.  I just see love.

Happy 4th of July!!!

Blessings~Katie

Father's Day

Father's Day and Mother's day are never easy days for me.  Yes, I do try to focus on my beautiful babies and my wonderful husband and I thank God for them.  They make those days more about the Mother and Wife they helped me to be, than the Mother and Fathers I came from.  But, at some point in the day, my parents always creep into my head, and the "little Katie" inside of me longs for just a small glimpse of a Normal Rockwell type of childhood I wish I had.  My grandma collected these plates and I loved to stare at them when I visited her in Reno and dream about the ideal family. I know I am not alone in this.  So many of us have a story to tell about how we grew up, and for some of us, hell most of us, it doesn't look anything like Norman Rockwell paints it.

So to recap- shitty parents, I fell far from the tree, love my husband and kids and family I married into.  My "real" dad I didn't meet until I was in my 30's.  My first step dad beat my mom.  My second step dad is the one I knew as dad for most my life, but he drank too much and he and my mom were always fighting. They divorced in my 20's and he disconnected from me and his kids a long time ago. The pain caused by both my parents runs deep in the three of us. 

This weekend, I find out he has cancer.  He doesn't call any of his kids, because he has no relationship with any of us and he is all alone.

Ok, honestly, part of me thought for a brief moment "Well, that's what he gets.  He put no effort into having a relationship with his kids and now he will die alone.", but that's not what I believe.  I believe that judgement of this man is not mine to give- It's Gods. I was able to forgive my "real" father enough to walk with him through his cancer treatment, so I feel like I am called to do the same for the man that at least attempted to be a father to me- even if he did a shitty job.

I went to the hospital today,  I helped my brother navigate through the day and the hospital (I'm kinda familiar with Loyola). I did not recognize my dad.  He is down to 123 lbs. He didn't say much to me, I didn't really expect him to. When they came in to give him the pre-op information, they told him he might not be able to talk again.  I told him if he had anything to say, he should say it now.  I was hoping in my heart he would try to make some amends with my brother- he just shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching TV.  They wheeled him down the hall and we walked behind the gurney.  He sat up and stopped them.  He called my brother and I over and thanked us for being there. We gently hugged him and he was gone. The cancer has spread though his throat, larynx, tongue and spine.  We will find out tomorrow what the next course of action is.

Forgiveness isn't easy. It is sooooo hard to forgive someone who never asks for it.  All I can do is what I am called to do by God.  Forgive like I have been forgiven.  No one said being a Christian would be easy.

Thank you Steve and Gerry for being such loving examples of what a Father really is.  Happy Father's Day.

Blessings~Katie

Guest Blogger

Hi all! I had the opportunity to be a guest blogger at my church this week.:-)
Just have to say, I love my church peeps! They have stood by me and my family for the past 10 years, and prayed for us when I didn't have the strength to. Thank you all- I love you!!!!!
West Ridge Community Church- Elgin, IL

Ella is doing well!  Tomorrow is her last day of 4th grade.  Today when I picked her up from school she had her arms wrapped around 3 other girls and they were all crying because one of them would not be back next year. They have been together for 5 years and they have grown such a beautiful friendship! They are a blessing to each other for sure!

Looking forward to a fun summer with my kiddos.

Blessings~Katie

My Advice to New Cancer Moms

Ella is a survivor.  I am still learning that this is the new reality.  Last week we went to a survivorship meeting and reviewed all the drugs, possible complications and late onset side effects that can happen.  So far she has not shown any learning delays, and if I may brag for a minute she is in an advanced math class and working 2 grade levels ahead.  She is also reading at the junior high level- stick that in your pipe and suck on it cancer!  The only issues she has had are yellowing of the teeth and stomach pain that cannot be explained.  We are working on her diet to help with stomach issues and she can whiten her teeth when she gets older.  For now she is just excited to be getting braces. 

So, as the mom of a child who is a cancer survivor I keep thinking, what advice can I give parents who are starting this journey? 

  1.     I know it is a cliché, but this too will pass. I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in it, but time will pass and life will go on. The hard part is not thinking about the “what if’s” and just enjoying each day for what it is.

  2.      I’ve said this before, but find God. Seek him to walk this path with you.

  3.    Enjoy each day. Worry about tomorrow- tomorrow. Nobody wants to hear this, I know, but if you waste this perfectly good day worrying about what might happen tomorrow, then you have wasted a day with the ones you love. Don’t do this. This day is a gift of their presence. Soak it in.

  4.    Enjoy each day. It is important enough for me to say twice.

  5.     Make time for you. You may be a mom, dad, or caretaker, but you are also- you. Take time to take care of you when you can, and DO NOT feel guilt about it.  One of my favorite examples of this is the air mask.  When you are on a plane, they instruct you to put your air mask on first, and then assist the people next to you.  Why? Because you cannot help them if your incapacitated.

  6.    Get help when you need it. Don’t be stubborn ass; ask your friends and family for assistance when you need it. They are your friends and family- that’s why they are there- to help. Now, some won’t and you will lose friends, but new ones will come. If you need to talk to a professional- go do it. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Do it for your loved ones so you can be there for them!

  7.    Take the time to morn your losses. I don’t mean death; I mean the life you thought you or your child would have. Dreams you created for them, plans you made for your family, and friends that can’t support you. Loss is more than death. Loss is losing what you thought you had. It’s okay to take time to be sad about all your losses.

  8.   Go on a date.  Go with your spouse, significant other, parents or friends.  Just get out of the house and do non-cancer related stuff! This falls under taking care of yourself, but also the ones that are there to support you.

  9.   Appreciate life. We do not know how long we are here for. Don’t just idly let the days slip by and get stick in your routine. Smell the fricken flowers, eat fantastic foods, drink the good stuff, and laugh at fart jokes! Be grateful for the day and the people in it.

    Blessings ~ Katie

Today's the day!!!

Wednesday October 28th, 2015

5 years ago if you had told me this day was going to come, I probably would have smiled politely and said "Yes, I know." But, I didn't want to think about it.  Not that I completely doubted, but part of me didn't want to think about it.  That way if it didn't happen, then I wouldn't feel like I lost something that I never really had. BUT, today we have it.  It's here and Ella is officially a SURVIVOR!

    

It's been 3 years since she finished chemo and 5 years since has been cancer free.  We had a small celebration at home tonight and this weekend we will celebrate.  We will be celebrating 2 things this weekend.  Ella has also decided to get Baptized. We are so proud she has decided to make this step in her faith journey. We have so much to celebrate this weekend!

My Girl.

Thank you for following us and sharing in our joys.

Blessings~Katie

Ella Update

Ella started 4th grade this year!  I am super proud of her and how hard she works at school.  She has not suffered any of the neurological setbacks that some kids get from chemo, and I praise God for that everyday. He has shown us grace in so many ways throughout this journey.

Just thought I would share some recent pictures.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Go Gold and let others know!  Help us find a cure so no other parent needs to hear the words "Your child has cancer".

Blessings~Katie

New Hospital- New Hobby- Same Love

Off topic, but on my mind today...

I think going to heaven will be like having the ability to take the biggest, deepest breath you have ever taken.  I often feel like here on earth I can't take a deep breath.  The things of this world seem to weigh me down.  Too many things seem like they are pushing down on my lungs so that when they expand to take that big cleansing breath, the top of my lungs are being held and pushed down back into my body so that my lungs can't fully expand.  I look forward to taking that first cleansing deep breath when I finally get to see my Father.

********************************************************************************

Ella had a follow up visit at clinic today, but it was a new clinic.  Her doctors moved to a new hospital in January.  I took Ella to the new hospital and she decided to stay with her doctors.  it's a hard decision.  Kids like routine- hell I like routine.  I liked knowing where I was going and what I was doing.  Recognizing others that I had met before and knowing just about how long everything would take.  Starting over at a new hospital was NEVER in my plan, but it must be in Gods plan.  Ella had to choose between new docs or new nurses.  She chose new nurses.  

So our first visit to the new hospital was yesterday.  It is a dedicated children's hospital- not just a small part of a clinic, but an entire hospital for kids.  It's nice that they are an entire facility set up for kids.  Loyola had a small part of clinic or 1 floor in a hospital.  We love our child life support at Loyola, but our favorite nurses were already gone, and we only saw the child life person once a year.  I had to go through and re-register Ella as a new patient.  I wasn't expecting me to hit me as hard as it did.  Answering questions and thinking about things that I had not had to think about in two years brought back some emotions that hit me when I wasn't expecting it.  

Josh came with us as emotional support for Ella.  Plus he didn't mind having the day off of school.  The weather was beautiful here.  65 and sunny.  He came for Ella, but whether he knows it or not- he was there for me too.  he saw my face and knew I was struggling.  He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.  He held my hand when we were walking and when I yawned and tears ran down my cheek- he asked if I was REALLY okay.  He is so in tune to my emotions- and that's a pretty big thing for an 11 year old boy.  I reassured him that I was okay.  Honestly he doesn't hold my hand very often so it was a nice treat!

We got to see both our doctors yesterday- which is a nice treat.  We also got to spend time talking to them.  It was interesting to see them in this different environment- in their new roles.  They are learning the ropes- just like we are.  I felt like seeing Ella yesterday was a deep breath for them.  Some fresh air to take in.  They love her and it is obvious.  They hug and tell her that whenever they see her.  I feel like seeing her well is a little sign that everything will be okay.  Her counts were great and she is doing fine.  She has some small things that we need to keep an eye on, but nothing we can't handle.

Ella has been doing well.  She will be turning 9 next month.  She started horseback riding in September and she loves it!  Her trainer is 21 and really good with Ella.  She lost her best friend to cancer a few years ago.  Her best friend left her horse for her when she passed. She and Ella get along really well.  It is incredible to me that she is not afraid of these giant horses at all.  She gets right in their stall and pushes them around like she is the boss- and they usually listen to her.  She had her first horse show last weekend.  She got 2 4th place ribbons and a 5th.  She didn't even care what place she got.  She just wanted the ribbons because they were pretty. She had 2- 4th place ones that are white and she wanted to get 5th place so she could have a pink one!  I love that.  She said she wasn't afraid to be in the competition at all- I was terrified for her!  She asked for a horseback riding party for her birthday this year.

Thanks for keeping up with us.  Ella is growing fast and becoming a beautiful young lady.

1st post Chemo Hair Cut

Here are the before shots

Hair.  I have asked so many times why it is important.  It shouldn't be right? It's just an outward physical thing. Why does it become such a part of our identity?  Why do we, as girls, put so much of who we are and how we feel into what our hair looks like?  I mean it can set the whole tone of your day.  Good hair day? Good day!  Bad hair day...well you get the picture.

Ella got her 1st haircut post chemo yesterday. Technically, this is only her 2nd haircut ever- unless you could the time Josh cut her hair. It was a long day.  We went to visit a new hospital in the morning.  Her doctors moved to a new hospital last month, so we went for a visit to see if it makes sense for us to move with them.  We had a nice lunch together and then did some shopping.  Every little girl who skips school has this day right? Shopping, lunch and the salon with her mom?

We have been trying to get her to agree to a haircut for about a year.  Nothing drastic, but the ends were crunchy, dry and in need of a cut.  The only problem was that the ends were all curly.  She lost her hair twice from chemo and it came back super curly.  But, the longer her hair got, the curls began to disappear. She HATED those curls when they first came in.  She would ask me to straighten it and kept saying that she didn't like it.  Then, when she was done with chemo, she liked the curls.  She gets compliments from people all the time on how beautiful her hair is.  I think she bonded a little with the curls.  They were the last obvious outward thing she had left from treatment(that anyone can see).

SO we got her hair cut.  The stylist finished cutting her hair wet and she wanted to dry it before she finished the cut.  Ella was silent the entire time.  No smiles, She wouldn't even look at me in the mirror as I hovered over the stylists shoulder.  As soon as the blow dryer went off, Ella looked at me and broke down in tears.

It too her a good 5 minutes to settle down.  The stylist walked away to give us some time.  She didn't want to tell me why she was crying.  The stylist came back and suggested a little nail polish break. She very kindly and patiently painted Ella's nails purple.  Then she finished up her hair and we went for ice cream.  She still hasn't said whether she likes her new cut.  Really- you can't tell except her curls are gone.

Ella post haircut.

I just felt helpless.  I almost wish she would just yell and scream and tell me how much it sucked to have cancer, but she says she doesn't really remember much.  I wish she could verbalize how she feels about this whole cancer thing, but she doesn't.  I always just saw it as her trusting us to do what was best, but maybe she just didn't know how to say how she really felt. She might not remember, but I think her body and mind have that information stored away for reference. God, I just love her and I don't want her to hurt for any reason at all! Haircuts are suppose to be fun.

Ella has decided to move to the new hospital to be with her doctors.  I'm a little surprised because she likes routine- but she must love them more:-) They are pretty awesome, so I can't blame her. In my eyes they are the best, because they helped saved my little girls life.

Otherwise, Ella is doing well.  She was on a heart rate monitor for three weeks this Christmas to monitor a heart rate issue, but the tests came back inconclusive.  Since her EKG and Cardio Echo came back good, we are just monitoring her now.  She had her 1st cheer competition last weekend and LOVES horseback riding.  She is so brave with these horses that just tower over her.  She has no fear.

Blessings~Katie

Hi!

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so please consider taking the pie in the face challenge to raise money and bring awareness, like Ella's medical team did above!

Ella threw pies in my face and Josh's here:

We just went on a family camping trip and Ella is doing great.

Last month she had a echo on her heart and everything looks great.  Also 2 of our friends that have been in treatment just finished!!!  We are so excited to celebrate this with them in the next week.  Yea Kennedy and Zach!

Getting ready for school to start back up.  Wish I could keep them home forever.  Remember, September is childhood Cancer Awareness Month!!!!

Blessings~Katie

Ella's 8!

I know this is late, but I am grateful to say we have been happy doing life!

Ella celebrated her 8th birthday with a Mad Hatter themed birthday party. Her girlfriends came in their party dresses and sat for tea. Tea was mostly lemonade and chocolate milk, but that's okay!

They had a blast.

We added a new member to out family:

This is Mika.  She was rescued from a shelter in Tennessee with her 5 puppies.  Her pups were all adopted and we got the best dog and companion.  

Ella is enjoying her summer. She has 4 different camps this summer and can be found snuggling in her down time.  I love this time of year.  Josh has started to ride his bike throughout the neighborhood with friends, and rides next to Steve on his morning run.  Ella and Josh are so luck to have this amazing group of friends in our neighborhood that are always around to play with.

Cool Update:

If you read my post about Ella's ENT- here is a cool "God Thing" update.  I was asking why.  Why does this happen?  So when we got home from that ENT visit, Ella took one of her bald pictures and wrote on the back "If I can kick cancers butt- so can you!".  She put it in a card and when she went in again gave it to the doctor to give to his son.  When Ella went in after her surgery a month or so later- she had a card from the ENT's son.  It was a very nice card saying how much her picture meant and a gift card to come to his restaurant in Chicago and have dinner and meet him.  So, this past week, we went to Chicago, had dinner on the river and met Mark- a cancer survivor.  He said Ella's picture and card came right at a time when he felt he couldn't do it anymore- it was perfect timing- God's perfect timing. Pretty cool hu?!!!

We are hosting a Kid Olympics next weekend and really looking forward to it!  I pray you are all having an amazing summer.

Blessings~Katie

Sharing...cuz that's what I do!

I tucked in Ella last night, and this is all I could think:

As I snuggle behind you my nose is tickled by your hair and all I can smell is you. Your 7 year old legs are wrapped around mine and your hand is holding me tightly to make sure that I don't escape your bed without you noticing. You go from crying to laughing with a second when I bring up something that makes you smile. And I think to myself and I don't want you to grow up. I want you to stay in this age forever so that snuggling-with me, is always the most important thing in your life. At that moment I am so grateful to God that you are still here on this earth that I have the opportunity to snuggle with you and smell your hair and wrap my arms around you and hold you and never wanna let you go. Tears of gratitude roll down cheeks and into your hair as I praise God for your life.

Just sharing.

Blessings~
Katie

My Joy.

Ella is doing well.  She just had her bi-monthly check up and her counts are all good!  So, just sharing a fun picture of my kiddos!

Blessings~Katie

What's the Reason?

I can't remember where I saw it this morning, probably Facebook, but I saw a post that said "something good always comes from bad. My first thought was to agree with that.  It falls along the lines of "Everything happens for a reason". Then I wondered for the millionth time what good could come from Ella getting Cancer.  Then I dismissed the thought and went back to my day.  Both kids were home sick today and have Strep Throat.  We had two doctor appointments scheduled and somehow I had to squeeze some work in there too.

Our first appointment was for Ella at the ENT.  I was just at this doctor a few weeks ago with Josh and he is now scheduled to have his tonsils removed. So, now it was Ella's turn to see if she was next.  When the doctor came in he asked Ella to hop up in the chair so he could look at her throat.  In her usual cute but shy manner, she looked and me and pushed in for security.  I helped her into the chair and explained to the doctor that she is a Cancer survivor and  every time we are at a doctor, it makes her nervous. He was good with her and she was happy that e was only looking- no pokes.  He asked me what kind of Cancer she had and how she was doing.  Then he asked something that not many people do- he asked how I was.  I gave the usual answer, but he kept talking about the hardship on the entire family. This dialog was something that came from someone with personal knowledge of this journey, so I asked him "Who do you know that has Cancer?". Turns out it is his son.  He has a throat Cancer and he diagnosed his own son.  It happened fairly recently.  We talked for 15 minutes or so about how it changes your family dynamics, and not just for the treatment period, but forever.  During our family trip to Florida for Thanksgiving I was listening to Josh and Ella play and Ella just started laughing.  I think ever adult in the room took pause and just listened for a second.  We all appreciated the fact that we still have the opportunity to enjoy her laughter.  When I left I asked for his sons name and told him I would pray for him.  His son is 30 and he said it didn't matter what age he was, he would always be his child.

So when I think about the reason Ella was diagnosed, I do not think I will ever really know in my lifetime.  But, I do know that it does give me a unique ability to be compassionate to others who will have to go through this journey.  In that sense I am now able to better equipt for serving others.

Ella has clinic this Thursday. I still get a little nervous, but I doubt that will go away- even when she is 30.

Blessings~Katie