Friday October 26th, 2012

Steve and I attend a couples group.  The group of people makes up part of our wonderful support system.  We are an "unofficial" group- not through our church because we wanted to have a social aspect to our group.  Translation...we like to drink alcoholic beverages and eat while we converse about God. I favor the Red Wine, but I don't judge those who prefer beer :-) Okay, inside joke with my hubby who just started drinking beer.

Anyway, I didn't feel up to going tonight.  It has been a rough week here at the Van Gheem's.  With only a few days left of chemo, Ella spiked a fever that got to 103.3 at 12:30am on Wednesday morning.  The Dr. sent her right to admitting to get checked into the hospital.  Do not pass GO and do not collect $200 dollars!
So Ella and I went to Loyola while Steve stayed home with Josh.  By 3:30am they had pulled her counts and given her Tylenol to break her fever.  We cuddled in the little twin bed and got some sleep.  Turns out she tested positive for the common cold.  The good thing was that her counts were high enough so we were released Wednesday night and sleeping in our own beds that night.  By that time her fever was gone and she was bouncing around like she was never sick.  The only bad thing is that this is when I realized, I was sick.

There was a positive thing about Ella being admitted.  I spent some time with Dr.M, Ella's other oncologist.  When she was diagnosed and then a month later determined a Rapid Responder with good Citogenetics, we were told her recover rate without relapse went from 87 to 92%.  These are great numbers for any illness, but things change and since her diagnoses over 2 years ago, those numbers have now grown to 95%.  What Steve and I did not realize is that that INCLUDES Ella!  I thought that only the kids on the newest protocol have that 95% w/o relapse.  When he told me I started to cry. He was like "Oh, you knew that!". And I believe I said something like "Does it look, sob sob, like I knew that?" Anyway- Happy Tears to think there is even a 3% less chance of the nasty relapse word. He also yelled at me for speaking that word.  Then he told me God is good, which He is.  Only 3 days of Chemo left!

So, now I am trying to get healthy and keep Ella healthy so she can PARTY and CELEBRATE on Sunday! Her biggest concern about being admitted was having to cancel her party with her friends.  She found out about the limo, but it was a hard secret to keep. Plus seeing how excited about it she is, makes it all okay.

Thursday morning Kailee, our dog, started barking at us.  Kind of a crying bark.  Then at about 3pm she went upstairs, laid in her bed, and didn't come back down.  She just laid there with her leg way up close to her body.  Steve and I made the decision to put her down today.  We took Josh out of school so he could say goodbye, then Steve and I took her in.  The kids cried, we cried.  It was a really rough day.  Even when we were in the vets office Kailee was wagging her tail and I couldn't help but think "Maybe she isn't ready yet?", "Are we making the right decision?".  Steve's response was this- that we were blessed.  Blessed to have Kailee as part of our lives and blessed with the burden of having to make this decision.  There is a hole in my heart that will shrink over time, but still a hole nonetheless.  She's family, and I was blessed to have her as part of my life for the past 10 years.  Love you Kailee Girl.

Kailee Girl

Kailee's last walk in the park.

Blessings~Kate