Wednesday May 2nd, 2012

Love this one.

Ella had clinic on Tuesday, and this time Daddy came with us.  This was not a fun one.  This time Ella couldn't eat because she had a spinal and Vincristine.  Every three months she has a spinal. They check to make sure the chemo is doing it's job, and the cancer is staying out of her spine and brain.  This is the visit that does me in. This is the one that I can't handle.  Seeing her lying there and not responsive while they do the spinal brings every kind of bad thought to your mind, and there isn't anything I can do to stop the tears from escaping my eyes.

She was a trooper.  I love her nurses and doctor.  This time both the doctor and her nurse said " I love you" to Ella as she was leaving. Lets me know that they are vested in her and her future. We take care of the people we love right?

She missed school today because she is having some back pain where her spinal was. She is also sound asleep and it is only 5pm. 5pm, the day after a spinal,  is an important time in my head. If they found anything in her fluid, they would have called by now. So I can take a deeper breath tonight and feel like she is still doing well.

Ella has 6 more months of chemo left.  A few people have asked us if we have started counted down yet, but Steve and I aren't ready to. 6 month is what the treatment length is for most adult cancers.  She has been doing this since August of 2010. That seems so long ago. She still has 6 months of chemo, 3 procedures and 1 surgery left.  We are going to wait until we are a little bit closer to the end to count down.  When Ella starts asking, then it will be time.

Last night after Josh said his prayers, he said he wasn't any good at sparing (Karate). I told him all of us are given gifts from God, and we just need to use then and practice using them to become better at the things we are willing to work at.  I told him he was good at kicking, and that he can use that for Sparing.  He asked me what Ella's gift from God was, I told him she was strong.

Blessings~Katie