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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 109 & 110-Wishes

We are just hanging out and trying to stay warm. Today the weather man said "It will be warming up today, with a high of almost 20!". Gotta love Chicago!
Ella is doing well. Her skin is starting to dry out- but everyone's is in this cold weather. Her next treatment is December 27th, and this will mark the most difficult part of her treatment.  It's 2 months of about 8 drugs, bone marrow aspirations, and spinals. Plus there is a 4 day treatment when a nurse will come to the house to give her chemo and they will teach me how to do it. They said we should expect the rest of her hair to fall out by mid January, and she will be back on the steroids. I can't tell you how scared I am. I look at her and just cry spontaneously through the day- because I know what is coming. I am so grateful, that she does not.
I think the hardest part for us is that she doesn't look like our baby on steroids. I know how bad her body must ache, she couldn't even walk last time- I just wish she was through it.
Pop-Pop 1980"s ish
Have you ever wished you could make a deal with God? Maybe we all get 3 wishes to use and that's it? If the wish makes sense to God then it's a go? Well, I use to play this game in my head when I was younger. Whenever something came up, I would think "Do I use one now? Would something more important come up later that I might need it for? Would I regret it if I used it now?" In my late 20's my Grandpa, Pop-Pop, was ill and had to go to the hospital. As I sit here typing this I am staring at this awesome picture that a photography student took of him in the 80's and I am tearing up. In my eyes he was an amazing man, and not because he was rich or he had a glamorous job but, he loved my grandmother. From the time I was 16 and old enough to work, I flew out to Reno every year to visit them. I usually stayed anywhere from 4-7 days. Sometimes I'd go twice a year. I never saw anything but love come out of him. Even in his 70's he would still walk into the kitchen and smack my grandma on the tush and she would turn and look at him and say "FRESH!", then they would kiss. Anyway, When he got sick, I flew out to see him. And, I played my game, but this time I wanted to use one of my wishes. So, I asked God to trade 5 of my years here for 1 more year with him. Now, don't get me wrong, I know you can't really make deals with God but, my Grandpa passed one year later, 3 months before he was going to walk me down the aisle.

I'd like to use wish number 2 now please.



  1. This too shall pass. In the meantime, we wish you strength (physical and mental) and courage. You are always in our thoughts.

  2. Hi Ella & Josh!! We are wishing you a Christmas full of love, memories and Christ's peace that passes understanding.
    Merry Christmas,
    John, Koni, Lexie and Johnny