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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

What's the Reason?

I can't remember where I saw it this morning, probably Facebook, but I saw a post that said "something good always comes from bad. My first thought was to agree with that.  It falls along the lines of "Everything happens for a reason". Then I wondered for the millionth time what good could come from Ella getting Cancer.  Then I dismissed the thought and went back to my day.  Both kids were home sick today and have Strep Throat.  We had two doctor appointments scheduled and somehow I had to squeeze some work in there too.

Our first appointment was for Ella at the ENT.  I was just at this doctor a few weeks ago with Josh and he is now scheduled to have his tonsils removed. So, now it was Ella's turn to see if she was next.  When the doctor came in he asked Ella to hop up in the chair so he could look at her throat.  In her usual cute but shy manner, she looked and me and pushed in for security.  I helped her into the chair and explained to the doctor that she is a Cancer survivor and  every time we are at a doctor, it makes her nervous. He was good with her and she was happy that e was only looking- no pokes.  He asked me what kind of Cancer she had and how she was doing.  Then he asked something that not many people do- he asked how I was.  I gave the usual answer, but he kept talking about the hardship on the entire family. This dialog was something that came from someone with personal knowledge of this journey, so I asked him "Who do you know that has Cancer?". Turns out it is his son.  He has a throat Cancer and he diagnosed his own son.  It happened fairly recently.  We talked for 15 minutes or so about how it changes your family dynamics, and not just for the treatment period, but forever.  During our family trip to Florida for Thanksgiving I was listening to Josh and Ella play and Ella just started laughing.  I think ever adult in the room took pause and just listened for a second.  We all appreciated the fact that we still have the opportunity to enjoy her laughter.  When I left I asked for his sons name and told him I would pray for him.  His son is 30 and he said it didn't matter what age he was, he would always be his child.

So when I think about the reason Ella was diagnosed, I do not think I will ever really know in my lifetime.  But, I do know that it does give me a unique ability to be compassionate to others who will have to go through this journey.  In that sense I am now able to better equipt for serving others.

Ella has clinic this Thursday. I still get a little nervous, but I doubt that will go away- even when she is 30.



  1. "And we know all things work for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28... Yeah, it's really hard to read that verse in the context of anyone with cancer, but especially when it is a child. I can't really say more about that than it is hard. My grandson is a severe type A hemophiliac. In an attempt to give him ownership and control of his condition, he is rarely ever given a treatment until he agrees to undergo it. The exception is when he takes a hard blow to his head. The disease and the control he is given has made him, at 5 years old able to make hard decisions. He has even said "I think I need to get factor." The disease has made him wise and pragmatic far beyound his years. If I could take it away and have him never have to experience it I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't really see it as all bad either. I just sometimes wonder if the good is worth the bad.

    I hope that all goes well at clinic with Ella. I had my annual visit with my oncologist last week. It has been almost 10 years and I was still apprehensive going into it. It doesn't go away, but it gets much better.

    1. Thank you for sharing this!
      Saying a prayer for you and your grandson.